Coronaboys – who are they? Where did they come from? Why did they come back?

Coronaboys are a hybrid version of the dead alive boys and boys magia negra.

In this time of pandemic and world isolation, we, women, have a lot of zoom meetings and happy virtual hours, ando ne thing was more prominent than our cocktais: every single gal was chased by this plague of the modern world.

Who are they?

Coronaboys are the so deceased guy you met on a trip last year, the year before, 5 years ago. These are the unsuccessful cases of Happn, Tinder, that you have been waiting for (an eternity) for a meeting that never happened. It’s that fake boy magic that you were crazy about him, but they left 3 months and before giving the fated 3 months of experience he disappeared as if by magic.

Okay,  I am excluding the boys that really have an extra affection for you, they had a serious relationship and this forced separation gave an extra force to see how much they miss you.

Coronaboys are the ones who gave a shit for you. Sorry. At the first opportunity and for a younger and more beautiful face, they disappeared.

Where did they come from?

From the rubble, from the tombs of some social media form. In an invitation and a direct on Instagram, on Messenger, on an unknown number on Whatsapp (if the caller has changed numbers). With technology, it is impossible not to be found. The glass cinderella shoe nowadays is your email and your phone number.


For one reason only, girls, and only one reason: NEEDY. They are alone, vulnerable and full of hormones in their homes, unable to meet their contacts or worse, give the occasional girlfriend a treat.

Do not be fooled by those devils: they do have the courage to reappear from nowhere and resume the conversation. They remember that you like vanilla ice cream, that you were learning to play the guitar, that that meeting at the beach bar was incredible.

They ask about your life. They ask how are your parents, your sisters, your friends, you, your dog, your parrot.

They ask if you have moved, if you started taking those Russian lessons, if you took surf lessons again.

Said that, i must advise, in less than 3 conversations, the tone already changes. They already want to know if they missed them, if they can send some “pictures” and vice versa.

Learn just one thing: as magical as their reappearance seems , it will be gone with the end of isolation.

Did the sunlight rise again? Did they release the gates? See you. Or rather, never again.

Well, now comes the so called liberals and moderns gals (and look, I have many friends like that) and they will say what a blessing these CoronaBoys came, after all they just want a distraction in this crisis. Is good for both sides, so why not!

Liars! You are the ones who will torment us for hours and hours of outburst and self-harm. And we will have to listen. For 5 months straight.

For those who take a casual heated again fling  without commitment, an exchange of nudes without fear that it will fall into the PornHub and without any kind of future, goes ahead. And don’t tell me.

But like my friend, one thing is one thing, another thing is another thing.

One thing: meet a incredible guy in a incredible trip and it was night or nighties of love and joy. Done.

Another thing  – a guy you were head over wheels, you had some expectation and then he gave a shit for you. For months, for years, for decades.

But I know from the experience of 10000 friends that we don’t work and feel as our boys. We do want a future. A continuity. It doesn’t have to be a wedding, but at least a few more dates. It has to mean something.

No, it does not mean nothing to them, sorry my friend.

And the Coronaboys know that. And yet, they search their entire portfolio of contacts until they find the girls that will satisfy them in this period of pandemic and confinement.

Well, some will ask me: what if the guy really missed me and after so long he still remembers me? Well, the world has to suffer the strength of a pandemic, a global tragedy . So he just took his lazy butt off the sofa and called you. To the virtual world.

You know that trash boy who disappeared out of nowhere, after some incredible months? Don’t even read his message. If you read, don’t answer. If you answer, make it sweet and discard it on the first try of the photo session or live.

I believe in the power of  Humanity. Still. We are going to be stronger and better. My hope is that the trash boys have to become better boys because there will be nothing left for them. And the vírus can transform and change them for better boys. In 100 years.