The other day, I watched the movie “It” (2017 version). You know those horror movies that are so bad they are good? Precisely because they deliver what they promise: tension and good scares, if you reveal any lack of logic in the script.
Any horror movie script has the victim. The easy victim. In “IT” the victim in the first scene is the cute and innocent little child, who is literally snapped up by the killer clown.
These victims make me angry. They make you angry. They ask to be killed. They go after the danger. The paper boat fell into a gigantic manhole. Are you going to get into it? Suddenly a horrible clown face of a murderer appeared drooling. Are you going to talk to him? Isn’t it obvious to the little boy that there is something wrong and it´s better get out?
Well, instead of the little child, in the modern and current horror tales for us pals, we have the woman blinded by love.
You have seen this scene. It was with you, with a colleague, with your best friend. And you won’t curse the little kid this time.
Because it is with you, or with someone you love. You talk to her. She sends you prints of conversations with the boy who is making her suffer. In 2 minutes of looking at the 20 thousand prints of conversation, you already know that the boy:
– just want to fuck her
– don’t even want to fuck her
– he doesn’t want to go out with her but says he misses her a lot bla bla bla.
You get tired of trying to open her eyes. You give reasons, she refutes. You paint the absurdities that she herself wrote of what she suffered at the hand of the devil, and she says that is not what she meant. It is very common for us to even boycott or manipulate the story to take the blame from the toxic boy and put it on us.
Like: “ I boycotted our relationship. I asked him to end with me. I was cold to him and he disappeared. I shouldn’t have had that jealousy when he was all flirtatious with my best friend. I shouldn’t have asked for satisfaction when he didn’t show up at the appointment we made. I should have answered his message right away, even at the risk of crashing my car on a highway.”
Yeah. I’m sorry to say that in most cases, people trying to open their friend’s eye are like the audience trying to warn the little child to escape the killer clown in the movie.
By that, I mean not to be angry with her. Don’t give up on her. Because deep down, she’ll hear you. Sooner or later, she’ll make the decision, in her time. Maybe the toxic boy still have to give that little push, like appearing on Tinder when he said he didn’t want to know anyone, he just wanted to be alone (Ah, okay), when he already shows up with another gal (look at this: most men just dumps you when they have already someone else in mind). Your friend will suffer, but she will heal.
And we have to be very affectionate at that time. Do not point a finger, or be superior. The friend already feels like shit and you come all displayed saying:
“I would never accept that”
“You are too muggle / silly / nice / to let him do that to you”
“You lack self esteem”
These phrases should never be allowed for friend advice. At least for now. It’s an enemy, right? First, because even if they are true, they do not help. She won’t get out, on the contrary, she’ll even try again to rub you in the face that you were wrong. Girls have these, right? You see your friend in the biggest pit, and you still use that to brag.
And second, because many times, we have done things even worse, we have swallowed frogs and anacondas much worse so as not to give up a boy. Already withstood aggressive boy, manipulator, liar, drunk, drugged.
So, let’s try to open our friend’s eye, but if I look at the facts, and if she still doesn’t agree, you will be on her side. Go call her for happy hours . A real friend has that. In joy and sadness. And I notice that this pit can last a long time. So, patience. She has done a lot for you. It’s your turn to give back.
Until there will be a day when she will make a joke of the toxic boy and not be sad afterwards, and will smile spontaneously in the photos.
And then everything will be as before. Until the next toxic boy.
And may we forgive and unite, because we were all or will one day be the little child to be swallowed by the murderous clown.