I used to label myself as a non-boring Feminist. Not boring means someone who is in favor of women’s rights, but who raises her voice only at the moments she deems necessary and ponders when she will criticize an advertising action considered sexist.
We change a lot in our 40´s, see?
I reevaluated my posture and today I try to change my activism from “mild and confortable” to something more proactive. It can be repetitive, It can sounds pretentious at times, it can yes be the boring person.
I didn’t want to be a boring feminist. Who was labeled a woman who hates men (and consequently lesbian), who criticized any subliminal sexist action, who did not wait for the other to finish answering and shouting: sexist !!!
This is a figure that we created (I mean men and also women) to label a militant feminist as boring and clueless.
I think the world needs this. I think that just being 100%, our attitudes will change.
No changes will occur with mild attitudes.
The other day, I volunteered for a session at Inspiring Girls, an ONG whose goal is to inspire girls aged 10 to 15 old to enter careers labeled as male, like technology and entrepreneurship.
At one point, the brilliant speaker, who did suffer discrimination in her career for being a woman, called our attention to the fact that women boycott and cancel each other. One of the girls in the audience said it was normal, since many women hate working with women and I agreed, as I’ve heard it from many friends.
Then the speaker in a strong (and magnificent) momentum imposed in a powerful voice: – “No! These are isolated facts and you take it for granted! And this attitude of agreeing and continuing to boycott ourselves! If you want equality, be the first to speak out loud! If a woman says that, you immediately question her! What she will answer is that she suffered this situation once or again, and how many times was she discriminated against in a male environment that she forgives or thinks is normal? The fact is that we forgive men, but not women. ”
The audience silenced. I silenced. There was a silence.
And then an unisson ovation. Wonderful.
In the months that followed I heard 3 to 4 women saying that they hate working with women. So I questioned them. All the cases are based on an isolated case or another, and not a set of experiences. In other words, the woman herself has a deep-seated prejudice and makes it a lonely experience the absolute truth.
I read a lot about the “me too” movement mainly after the scandal of the powerful producer Harvey Weinstein, and thanks to the numerous complaints, was removed from his production company and today is considered an example of shame rather than the genius he was once.
I give a standing ovation to the women who started this movement and were the first to expose the numerous harassments suffered.
At first, I was oblivious at Angelina Jolie, Gwyneth Paltrow and other celebrities who later went public to expose also what they suffered at the hands of Weinstein. Because they agreed with silence. Paltrow, even years after the harassment suffered, made several films under his production and even thanked him in his Oscar speech. “Bunch of fakes, I thought”.
Today, I think differently. Any help or position, even if late, even if false, even if it contradicts the actions of the past, are valid. Weinstein is only removed from his production company because after the first accusations, countless others came. Including A-listed actresses.
We will only be able to have equality in the work environment if more women occupy important and powerful positions. As long as we agree with our colleagues that “it is horrible to work with women”, nothing will change.
A sad note: one of my journalist friend asked me for a contact to interview: a powerful female entrepreuner. I came to NONE. We are the one who blames women to be bad moms, to be ambitious, to be work driven. We point our fingers to women to marry men who are weaker financially than hers.
It´s time to stop. And yes, point our fingers, and be the boring and extremist feminist.
We have to celebrate the boring feminists who create memes against xenophobic and sexist campaigns, which exposes youtubers who are not careful with expressions and situations against women and minority races.
There´s a lot of discussion in Brazil right now with racist and sexist terms but incorporated in our vocabulary and used in innocent terms like “criado mudo” aka bed table and “tomara que caia” aka strapless top.
Some people think it´s stupid and nonsense. I think we can live perfectly without these terms. There are a lot of people who criticize this whole movement, labeling it mimimi – aka things that useless people waste their time about.
Well, this people can pack their things and go to Mars. Long live there. Here on planet Earth, it is the beginning of a new era. I believe in the improvement of humanity. Let’s be boring! Life is just one to be beige or mild.