Without being able to meet in person because of this damn pandemic and already tired of virtual meetings (that is, zero social life), I have spent a good time watching videos on youtube from other people’s trips.
In one of these videos, out of curiosity I went to look for the profile of 2 bloggers on Instagram.
One is 27 and the other 45, exactly my age.
The 27-year-old has more than a million followers, several jobs (posts and stories reportedly as paid advertising) and lives with her boyfriend and her dog.
The 45-year-old, although with fewer followers, also has several partner companies and lives with her husband and young daughter.
Judge me, I watched their videos of routine (since the travels for now are stopped) out of curiosity and I found it a good hobby. Better for me than watching TV.
In the same week, something caught my attention:
The 27-year-old revealed that that week, given the small amount of jobs (as I understand it, the jobs of these influencers are varied and usually for a short period) she gave good naps during the day.
And it was even questioned in the video why she was hiding this information until then. Out of shame, because they think she’s wandering around, because they think she isn’t called for anything else?
Then she pointed out that she sometimes works on weekends, and that the routine of an influencer has busy days and quiet days. And because she can’t afford to be totally idle on full weekdays (or in crude language, do anything?). She has already earned her wealth to the point that she no longer needs to work for money.
On the other hand, the forty-year-old youtuber never tires of showing that she is exhausted, that every day is that “run”, and that she doesn’t even have time to breathe.
I don’t judge it and I don’t know what is right. Maybe she is. But what I see from your days and routine on Instagram, no more and no less than your 27-year-old professional colleague.
Our generation, born between the 60’s and 70’s, always had the fear of falling into “vagabondage”, of doing nothing all day, of being useless to society.
So we had English, Spanish classes, swimming and ballet classes when we were girls and when we were young we slept 5 hours a day to reconcile the internship with college (and hangovers because we were young). We achieved our financial independence and our first apartment at 30 or 40, and made our nests and pensions in order to stop working at 50.
And now, reaching 50, we can actually stop working or at least slow down, and we feel guilty and ashamed to say that we are sick of working.
Let’s take an example. You leave a position at a multinational to work in a consultancy where the work spikes are occasional and the demand for work decreases. You take advantage that you have no children (or have already left home) and to escape traffic, take a week at the beach.
The comments already come, coming mainly from those who cannot do the same (incidentally, usually from those who never saved money during their 30s and 40s and think that those who can now stop working are madam or who never earned their money):
“- You only travel!”
“-Heh good life”
“- I wanted to be like you”.
It may be that these comments are genuine and wanting your best.
I’m sorry, but even I, who are a lot of Poliana, know that there is a mixture of poison, bitterness, and unfortunately the envy of others.
So we put less on our social media feed fearing the envy (in Brazil we have the expression called fat eye for envy)(and look, there is!), And instead of extolling the days of leisure we have conquered, we are camouflaging with “I’m in the race”, “I have a full schedule ”.
There’s something wrong with that, isn’t there?
Our earned money was not stolen from anyone. If you inherit it, you were lucky to have parents who saved money and still have the merit of not having spent everything in your youth. If it was from your savings, investment and work for decades, why do we feel compelled to justify our days of leisure and show the world that we are still productive? Your “good life” is totally worthy!
An example of how the Z and Millenials generations may better deal with this issue of “being a vagabond”. One weekend before the pandemic, we closed a weekend in another city. The 40s and under, always busy, always answering emails, always on calls, and always with the catchphrase: “wow, it’s super hard to be disconnected”
Millennials, on the other hand, only used their cell phones to stay on social media and put Spotify’s list of songs.
And the youngest ones are in a leading position in companies, see? And some are early mothers. They just reconcile their tasks better, delegate better (to the boyfriend, husband) and without fear of being happy and vague.
Another example: In the pandemic, 3 people in my personal circle decided to take a sabbatical to rethink their life, their purpose or really, rest their body and mind. There was not one that was not “fried” behind the back. The friends (and they are really friendly people. I repeat: this is an evil of our generation, not of people’s ethics) even judged: “I couldn’t take it”. “Gave up” “what a waste”.
When in fact we should celebrate and celebrate the achievement of someone to be able to disconnect from paid activities because yes, she won that freedom!
Whenever I write a text I think of some purpose for him (ok, sometimes it is to let off steam) and what I hope here is to turn on this light for some people. May the women (and men) who have achieved their financial independence not inhibit themselves from enjoying life as it deserves, and that the people who are judging themselves should ask themselves why they are not like themselves before making any mean comments or “just living good life”…. In fact, life is not always easy. Instead of judging those who are in a moment of pure pleasure, we learn from them and celebrate. And a sincere message to us in our forties (I include myself): just stop crying out there that you are super busy, that your day was super busy, under the pretext of looking requested and important. If you are, congratulations. Do not use this as a personal brand. I really envy the millenial who earns her money and acquired early rights to go to the beach in the middle of the week and answer messages only on Monday.